Tanner Williams . . . What’s in a name?

Many years ago I went to sing at a rest home on Government Street in Mobile, AL.  I had my own recorded music & equipment because I had not learned to play an instrument, but when I arrived I was introduced to a beautiful lady of 90 years who was to accompany me.  Although requiring a wheelchair and/or a walker, when she sat at the piano she lost years and years of age.  Her beautiful hands moved up and down the keyboard with grace and beauty and skill.  I was so moved I had a little difficulty keeping my emotions in check to sing.

Then I recognized her name!  Miss Lily Simmons!  Her little sister Eleanor taught me in the third grade and her other sister Mary taught fifth grade in my school, but that is the insignificant part of who she was!

My grandfather, Willie Tanner, built a school (The Tanner School) on the grounds of his home near Big Creek Lake near the end of the 19th century at the direction of my grandmother, Mrs. Ellen Cochran Tanner.  She believed it to be important to provide an education, not only for her children, but for the others in the community and the school board did not build and operate rural schools at that time.  She was also instrumental in founding the Trinity Baptist Church where she and my other ancestors are interred.  This was all a full day’s travel from Mobile at the time, so they brought a school teacher from there to live with them and to operate the school.  My father, Irby (Bud) Tanner, who I lost in 1988, described her arrival.  He said she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen!  Her name was Miss Lily Simmons!

Can you imagine what this was like for me?

There was another aristocratic gentleman in a nearby community, Mr. Williams, who also built a school as my grandfather had done.  Now five minutes can take you a distance that took hours back then, so you must imagine yourself without a car or a TV or a bathtub or a bathroom or hot water or most of what we consider basic human needs.  As you know, God always provides those who will do what He desires for the benefit of all of us.

(The original school board building is the part in the rear)

Transportation had improved with more cars, better roads, etc. by 1914 or so.  This was about the time that the School Board built a school to serve the larger community and was funded by the general public so the Tanner School and the Williams School were discontinued.  The big new school was appropriately named “The Tanner Williams School” and my father finished high school there and graduated valedictorian.  When he was introduced, the principal made a joke about the stern character of my grandfather.  He said that he had visited Willie and Ellen and while sitting in the living room noticed 9 large holes around the room near the baseboards.  He asked Willie about the holes and his response was simple, “I have nine cats and when I say scat, I mean SCAT”!

The overall community gradually assumed the name of the school.  So there you have it!

Tanner Williams is a beautiful place with genuinely nice people.  Big Creek Lake now covers the location of the old Tanner School.  When going out Tanner Williams Road the road curves to the left leaving the old road to take you over the dam.  That old road continues under the lake and emerges on the other side and provides an excellent fishing reef with the old Big Creek Bridge that is still down there too.  The old school was on the right side of that underwater road along with the old family cemetery from which many of the graves were moved to Trinity Baptist Church.

Her Birthday . . .

Every year when her birthday comes around I find myself thinking and remembering and thinking some more. I’m an old man now and the more I think the more I come to understand about my life and path that our sweet Lord has given me with Her at my side.

When I was young my path wasn’t a path. It was more running aimlessly, recklessly, dangerously, and totally unfulfilled. I had fun, at least what I can remember, but I made some major mistakes that could have resulted in a life of pain, confusion, and death. Yes, I have had and continue to have pain, but pain that I have been able to learn from thanks to my mighty advisor and protector, Her.

Years ago on March the 24th, God gave the earth a gift. Years later in October of 1980 God blessed me with the acquaintance of this beautiful gift that He had given to all of us who have been fortunate enough to have experienced Her. A year later at sunrise on the banks of Fowl River He presented Her to me all wrapped up in white and allowed me to take Her away in a boat, eventually to a mountain where we began my life with an etching on a large boulder that is still there today. By the love of our sweet Almighty God and of Her I have had a charmed life.

My life is and has always been like a beautiful symphony of love and kindness. I have always attempted to write the words, but they were nothing until She provided the music. My life is and always has been a beautiful painting. I have tried over and over to be a substantial canvas, but of no value until She paints Her masterpiece of shape and colour. She covers the blemishes with beauty and grace and my sweet Lord God Almighty blesses Her work. I smile and smile and I laugh and I sing!

This upcoming day is special to me. To so many it is just a day which is a miracle in of itself when blessed with living it, but to me it’s a very special day indeed!!!

Happy Birthday my Catherine!

Joel

March 23^rd, 2014

What if . . .

This Christmas season has been awesome!!!!  God has helped me understand forgiveness better and, as He promised, I have shed some major chains that have held me in bondage for years.

I now have an extremely large library of my absolute favorite Christmas music which is playing almost non stop.  I have experienced some of the most beautiful worship in music and style that exists!  Yes, I have even been given the opportunity to join in the singing of a “chant”!  I have enjoyed listening to chants for many years, but failed to understand them because of my lack of knowledge of Latin, but I was able to join in on one in English last night and my life will never be the same.  Many of you probably are thinking ho hum because it is normal for you, but I ask you to pay attention next time you are given the opportunity and feel the connection of love and adoration that they give you with the great “I AM”.

Now, let’s just consider what our world and our “Earth Time” would be if Almighty God had not sent His Son into the world to suffer on our behalf and to freely give His life so that our life on earth could be charmed and that the door between Heaven and earth could be opened for us to join our Father in Heaven for eternity.

There would be no Santa Claus.  There would be no Christmas Tree.  There would be no Yule Tide Log or celebration.  There would be no gift giving.  There would be no caroling.  There would be no manger or nativity or wise men or shepherds or little drummer boy.  There would be no Catholic Church, no Episcopal Church, no Presbyterian Church, no Methodist Church, no Baptist Church, no Church of Christ, no Church of God, no Church of the Nazarene, no Assembly of God, no Church of Latter Day Saints, no Jehovah Witnesses, or any other Christian church that I failed to mention.  There would be no Christmas plays, choirs, concerts, or parties.  The masters of Classical Music would have not been inspired for their greatest works.  Handel’s Messiah would have never been written or the Hallelujah Chorus.   There would be no Joy to the World, Silent Night, or O Come All Ye Faithful.  Would Bing Crosby have been as successful without “White Christmas” or “Holiday Inn”?  Would we think of Jimmy Stewart the same today without “It’s a Wonderful Life”?  Would we view life differently today without a little movie called “The Island of Misfit Toys”?  Would we have learned the lesson from Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol if it had never been written?  What would our long dreary cold winters be like without the “Magic of Christmas”?  There would be no United States of America as we know it because the genius behind the Constitution was based in Christian values.

The Magic of Christmas is magic of the heart that begins with the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, Yeshua Messiah and ends in His gift of salvation to us all through His death and resurrection, !  It blooms and flourishes in all directions to bring us love, joy, and hope and to become an elf for Santa, a glass ball on our Christmas Tree, a stenciled snowflake on a window, a song, a movie, a pecan pie, or a jingle bell.

It’s time to wish you all a Merry Christmas, but it comes with a request this time.  I ask each and every one of you to open your eyes and your hearts and your ears and your minds to every aspect of Christmas this year.  Don’t just be merry!  Live merry and appreciate the birth of God’s greatest gift to us all in every way possible.  Please accept our Lord’s gift of Salvation, but also His gifts of music, worship, joy, hope, stenciled snowflakes, flying reindeer, and happiness through a dreary winter!

She Taught Me to Sing!

It’s that time of year for happiness and a little nostalgia and reflection.  Yes, Mom, I’m thinking about you and wishing for one more little visit.  The holidays are harder for me than most, but better than for many I suppose as I reflect.  My Mama passed away in 2001.  I wrote this to her in 1992.  I read it to her at a family gathering at my brother’s home.  She didn’t seem to care much for it and my family told me I was being prideful, but they totally missed the point.  Here it is . . . let’s see what you think.

SHE TAUGHT ME TO SING!

She taught me to sing. In so doing, she taught me to live. It wasn’t that it would ever be important to perform or anything like that. It was just that, she taught me to sing. I always wished for the ability to play an instrument … still do, but just to be able to express myself, even if only to myself gives me a real advantage in life that is not available for the majority of the people on this planet. There are so many other things that are a part of it too.

The world can be a wonderful place when you’re a child. I know. Many children are unaware of the world’s beauty because they are hungry, afraid, and live without love. Some children find beauty and music on their own to escape these things and then there are those special children who find it simply because they are children, but that is not usually the case. Many adults have found music since maturing, many have not. To observe life itself through the eyes of a child is a marvelous thing. Children could teach us all so many things if we would let them. Rare, but wonderful it is, for an adult to be able to see through the eyes of a child and to share that vision with that child.

No one has the perfect childhood. I didn’t think that I did at the time.

Now … I’m not so sure. The river is a beautiful place. To cruise down the river at night with the moon lighting the way is a magnificent thing to behold. To do this and participate in a round, “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”, is magic. Precious things are precious only after they are beyond your grasp.

When you live in paradise and that’s the only place you have known, then it is not paradise. When you grow up one fine day and travel off into the
sunset to find your destiny, it is soon thereafter that we all realize exactly what it is that we have left behind. She gave me a destiny filled
with song.

The wind as it travels through the tall pines is a music that is beyond
duplication by mankind. It is music to the ear and music to the heart. She
knew that and taught me to hear. The tree frogs at night are masters of
sound. Oh, how wonderful it is! The river is a master as it ripples against
the sandy shore or flows through the marsh or gurgles to the lightning speed
motion of the trout grabbing a morsel for supper. The paddles make music
through the water and against the side of the boat. Amazing how the night
birds sing night songs and the morning birds sing morning songs and the
angry Blue Jay fusses all day long. I remember. Yes I am one of the few that know and understand the anxious message of the whippoorwill. She interpreted it for me while I was still of an age to know, understand and appreciate such things. Music it was for sure as she sang with the mysterious bird, “Jack married the widow”. On another wonderful night, the message was “Jack fell out of the window”. Who would know at such an age that this wonderful duet, she and the whippoorwill, was a very special performance for only a chosen few. Doesn’t everyone hear all of this beautiful music that our loving God has provided for our enjoyment? No, I think not. Now I know and now I understand that life as I know it is more wonderful than it is for most because she taught me to sing.

I didn’t know she was working. I was surprised to find that washing dishes
was not a fun thing to do. Dusting, sweeping and straightening the beds was horrible. I couldn’t believe it. It never was for her. The music of her soprano voice as she moved through the house and her glorious whistle as she worked in the kitchen could not have flowed so easily if work was as horrible as all that. She knew the music and helped me to find it. Now I understand. I wish all of the others could, the others of the earth that had no one to teach them.

I cried. She found the music in my soul for me and helped me to find it. I stopped crying. I laughed with excitement and the music of her laughter
enhanced the sound of my own. I became silent and she helped me to
appreciate the music of silence and explained to me that in silence we could
find the heart of God. She taught me to sing and I didn’t know it ’til now.

I don’t know why God saw fit to grace me with the opportunity to live in
paradise and while I was there to give me song, but I am so grateful. I love life. I love my life and Mom, I love you. Thanks.

Joel I. Tanner

1992

I saw an old man cry

Papa took us to see one of his cousins. He was Uncle Ottie Cochran.  He was the oldest man I had ever seen.  His house was a little one room house out in the country that had newspaper covering the cracks in the walls to keep the cold air out.  He had a big smile on his face and he hugged us all up real good.  I remember the smell of his sweat, his dirty t-shirt, and his overalls.  It was a beautiful day with a blue sky and a gentle breeze through the pines, the smell of straw and cow manure, and a slight coolness in the air, the time for Mardi Gras in the city with Easter to follow soon.

Once in his little house he made coffee with a stove top percolator for Papa.  Papa was a germ nut.  He wouldn’t drink out of a cup that hadn’t been scrubbed and scrubbed again, but he gladly accepted the chipped and cracked mug with stains all over it and sat back to relax and enjoy.  There was an old time portrait of a beautiful young blonde lady on the side table in an old tarnished frame.  “Who is that lady?”, I asked Uncle Ottie.  His smiling countenance immediately lowered and his face changed and trembled as he looked over at the portrait.  Papa said, “Don’t worry about it.  That’s none of your business” and I looked down, embarrassed.  Uncle Ottie said, “That’s fine Bud. Would you like to hear a story?”  “Well sure!”, I said.  So Uncle Ottie leaned forward and began, “That beautiful lady’s name is Lily.  When I was just a boy I fell in love with her and we got married as soon as we were old enough.  Oh, she was so beautiful and her voice was like music!  She would sing to me on the porch when the moon was shining bright and I was so happy I thought I’d died and gone to heaven!  We were poor, but we were happy.  I’d go out and work all day, but that was just fine because she would be waiting for me on the porch when I got done.”

“We’d been married for a year and we were so happy.  I was out in the field and was plowing when the weather started turning, so I headed back to the house.  All of a sudden the rain started just pouring and the wind started blowing so hard I could hardly stand up, but I ran harder and faster than I ever have in my life.  I was getting close to the house when I saw the tornado!  I ran as fast as I could, but only got as far as the little pear tree in the front of the house when it came through.  I grabbed the tree and hung on as hard as I could and the wind spun me around and around that little tree until my hands were bleeding terribly, but as I spun around I saw my little house begin to move.  My Lily was holding on to a post on the porch and screaming at me with her sweet little voice.  I saw the terror in her eyes, but I couldn’t do a thing.  She loved me and I was the one that would take care of her for the rest of her life and I saw all of that in her eyes as the house lifted into the air.  There she was on the porch of our little house screaming as I watched her go up and up and as the house began to spin and disappear into the tornado.”

“I found her almost a mile away.  The house was gone, but there she was all wet and dirty on the ground.  I ran over to her and picked her up in my arms as she told me she loved me and then she was gone.”

The old man cried.

Looking for Tarzan

Crickets, frogs, heavy air.  An evening on the river.  The rumble of the big Chrysler Marine Engine in the 22 foot Chris Craft mahogany speedboat.  As I said, an evening on the river.  Being a kid is easy.  All you have to do is contain your imagination to keep from dying of fear or shaking to death.  At the age of 4 everything is bigger, louder, quieter, smellier, and scarier than grownups can know.  How could they know?  They’re grownups!  It’s summertime on the river and it’s warm, but the heavy air is downright wet and wet is cold and cold makes you shaky and shaky makes you scared, at least when you’re looking for Tarzan! 

I remember when Papa installed the spotlight on the bow of the boat and announced that we would begin looking for Tarzan!  We were some of the only people who had a presence on the river then.  Thick woods with an occasional spot here and there that Papa said were alligator slides.  Not to worry, he said, because the snakes and the alligators were always more afraid of us than we were of them.  I believed him.  The only thing we had to do was to splash real big when we jumped in the river to scare them off so they wouldn’t bother us.

It was time.  Papa loved a moonlight ride, but you only look for Tarzan on the darkest night!  It was dark!  Rumble of the motor as we backed out of the boathouse!  Low squeal from the transmission as he shifted into forward.  We have to be very quiet now as we move slowly down the river so we don’t scare Tarzan away.  Papa!  What if Tarzan gets mad at us?  Don’t worry, Tarzan is a good man and he loves children.  OK.  When are you going to turn on the light?  Soon, just sit down and be very still and quiet so we can find him. OK.

The spotlight was so bright!  It shined right into the woods and we could see everything, but we had to turn it off pretty quick so Tarzan wouldn’t notice.  We looked here and we looked there, but Tarzan was hiding too good.  We saw all kinds of monsters and animals and stuff and I saw an alligator near one of the slides.  Nobody believed me, but I’m sure I saw a hippopotamus!  And I don’t know what she was doing there, but there was a witch out there in the woods too! 

I don’t remember getting back to the boathouse after what must have been hours and hours later, but the important thing is that I lived.  No, if we found Tarzan, I don’t remember.  I slept all night and woke up the next morning as tired as anyone who had ever been on the most excruciating expeditions that there ever was, even probably the Kon Tiki Voyage!

Cold & Rainy . . . I like it!

In the 30’s outside and raining.  First day of our new year!  I’m sitting here and giddy about it!  I know it’s weird.  The norm would be to be upset with the weather.  After all, there are so many neat things we could be doing with this day off and the first day of a new year!  Think deeper.  The rain feels so cold and a gentle breeze chills you to the bone, but under different circumstances, I would feel none of this or see any of it. 

This is a  gift of Earth Time!  With this gift we receive cold days and warm days.  We receive good times and bad times.  We receive sunshine and rain.  The cold days help us appreciate the warm days.  The bad times help us appreciate the good times and to hopefully steer our Earth Time to more of the good times.  While we live and breathe we can’t do anything about the weather, but we can choose to enjoy it.  Steering our Earth Time to more good times and fewer bad times is really rather simple.  Learn the lessons available from the bad times, of course, but direct your heart, your life, and even your mere existence toward the heart of God.  His heart is where He will bring the good times to your Earth Time and lead you carefully through the bad.  It’s easy.  Just look around you and focus to see Him.  Follow your heart and make sure that your heartstrings are secure with His.  What He wants for you is happiness and He always gets what He wants, except that He will not force Himself on anyone.  Like any true love, it must be real for BOTH.  God invented love!  His love for each of us is already absolute!

Yes, I love a cold and rainy day because God is never slowed by the weather or anything else when He decides He wants me to be happy and if I can feel it, I know my Earth Time continues!

Now, what do I do with it?

A little over a year ago my Earth Time came to within seconds of an end.  At 11 AM on 11/11/11 I had a major heart attack that very few survive.  God chose to extend my Earth Time, an amazing gift!  I have had a beautiful year with my precious Catherine.  I have experienced beautiful mornings, evenings, sunsets, Fall colors, fresh breezes, scrumptious meals and warm cuddly fires.  My son married the most precious girl in the world (except for my Catherine).  To even consider having missed this event still brings tears to my eyes.  We spent some time with our high school friends and others special to us in Mobile, AL, our old home town.  Yes, we had some good seafood there and some “World Famous Hot Dogs” at The Dew Drop Inn.  To celebrate my recovery, we hiked 11 miles to the top of Mount LeConte and back down  June 1st.  I have walked arm in arm with my girl where Moses, Solomon, and Jesus walked in Israel and Jerusalem!  I have pressed my head and my hands on the Western Wall of the Temple Mount and felt the presence of Almighty God from the hairs on my head to the tip of my toes and had to walk carefully to keep from falling as I walked away from it.  Amazing is not adequate to describe this year.

Now I begin a new year.  This last year has been one of astonishment for me.  The time has certainly arrived for me to serve my sweet and loving God.  He has charmed my Earth Time my entire life, no matter how I have resisted Him, and I don’t know why.  I’m excited to see what God will do for me this year and any and all of my remaining Earth Time.  My prayer now for my remaining Earth Time is that my sweet God Almighty, “The Great I AM”, will help me discover my purpose in this gift of additional time that He has given me.  As I am faced with a new exciting year, my question is, “Now what do I do with it?”  If you are confused or concerned about our new year, it’s ok.  I think most of us are.  Just remember . . . God is always with us.

Did you see what time it was?

There’s a clock where she was.  When she walked in the room, I asked her if she noticed what time it was.  From there to here . . . a few steps . . . and what time it WAS?  Wow!  We notice the years as they go by, but only during holidays or birthdays.  Rarely do we take the TIME to notice months, weeks, days, hours, or especially minutes.  How many minutes or hours do we spend stressed in traffic or angry for some ridiculous reason?  How many days or weeks or months or even years do we spend being depressed or unhappy?  What difference does it make anyway?  Only when we reach an age that makes it obvious that our Earth Time is limited, if then, do we begin to realize how important each minute of each day is!  Minutes are just about impossible to remember and unfortunately, we discover that many, many years are almost impossible to remember.  We remember events and emotions that are particularly good or bad, but everything else is tucked away into oblivion.  Most of the gifts that we have received in our life are tucked away there too as well as the really neat stuff we were so excited to buy for ourselves . . . clothes, shoes, cars!  We just don’t even remember them!

Our clocks should be a constant reminder as they tick tick tick that our lives are passing, our Earth Time is limited.  Many times with an unbelievable dessert, I will eat it slowly and savor each bite, knowing that the thrill of each tasty morsel is limited and soon there will be no more.  We should train our hearts and our minds to savor each minute, each hour, each week, each month, and each year of our life because it is indeed limited.  If only our young ones could grasp how precious youth of body, mind, and spirit is and savor each moment while they possess them.  Every moment of Earth Time should be savored, not when it’s running low, but for the entirety of it.  I am so grateful to my sweet loving God Almighty for the Earth Time that He has given me and I pray that He will help me remember each minute that it should be savored.

An Expensive Little Ride

Cold and raining, it seemed to be a good time for a little ride.  Audio books in the car especially at night are just the thing sometimes when you’re tired of the news and weary of the book you’re reading.  Trade in the recliner for bucket seats and the TV for a windshield. 

The rain and the bright lights from tailgaters and the horrendous traffic soon made us think twice, but we decided to go ahead, but to cut it short a bit.  The story was intriguing and we were enjoying the ride against all odds.  Less than 3 miles from home things changed.  I noticed a slight reflection in the middle of my lane ahead and realized too late that it was a possum slowly ambling in the same direction as my big old car.  I managed to center it, but it thumped as the car went over it.  Too much traffic and no shoulder to pull over, all we could do is hope that it was only slightly injured. 

It hurts.  We were just on a ride.  Mr. Possum was just on a stroll.  Now we are all wounded.  Our emotional wounds are evidence of the fact that God created us in His image.  Just as we cry now over the smallest insignificant creature, God cries over us.  Just as we want a beautiful life for all of the big little lives around us, God wants a beautiful life for each and every one of us!  His love and caring resulted in the death of His Son so that we might have life.  How sad He must be to see the misery and loneliness that so many of us choose for ourselves rather than His love and direction.